My 99 second talk that never was

You know when you're in class and the teacher starts calling random names to quiz the class and you keep repeating inside your head "Not me, not me, not me" and then your name is called? Well, it didn't happen to me today. 

What's a 99-second talk?

One of the greatest things about TestBash conferences is the last section, the 99 second talks. The idea is that 99 seconds is long enough for you to give public speaking a try, to conquer your fear in a safe environment, but 99 seconds is short enough for it to not make you terribly anxious about what to say. Also, if you're into public speaking and if you're not, why not give it a try? 

Anyway, I gave a 99-second talk at my first TestBash two or three years ago...it was TestBash Manchester precisely. The prize for being brave enough to speak was a beautiful light blue type of Moleskine notebook that one of the sponsors was giving, and I told myself I was doing it for the notebook but I knew why I was really doing it. 

Standing in line when no one can see you

The experience was different today because the queue up the stage wasn't visible. Nevertheless, every time I thought I was waiting for my turn, I kept repeating inside my head "Not me, not me, not me"...I guess I'm feeling a bit shy today and although I wanted to push myself, I didn't really want to push myself at the same time. I'm happy technology wasn't my friend today, but that doesn't mean I think the message should remain unsaid, so I thought I'd blog about it. 

I thought it was important to share this with you today because I've clipped my own wings in the past and it doesn't make sense so I've stopped doing it. 

I suck

I've always thought I sucked at art, so why keep trying?

I've always thought I had -1 musical talent, so why bother trying to learn how to play an instrument?

Sometimes it doesn't matter how many times you hear the phrase "Practice makes perfect", does it? Sometimes it just doesn't stick. 

I have stopped depriving myself of learning opportunities and if you're doing it as well, please, give yourself a chance. 

Butterflies

This post will be really personal (as usual) and not about work. Also, I'll try to make it easy to read but I think it's best if we see this as a ball of yarn that we're unraveling together. 

COVID as a unit of time

COVID months aren't like normal months. A lot can happen in a COVID month and nothing can happen as well, making a month feel like half a year or like a week. However, my months have been blessed with a passion for the internet and what you can find in it (I've always had it but now even more so), zoom activities every day after work, YouTube videos and not having to commute to the office, which has probably allowed me to do stuff after work. 

A sensei along the way

I can't remember when I bought my iPad, it feels like forever but it must have been one or two months ago. No more than a month or two before that I created @therookiesketchnoter, my public Instagram account, which is where I post all the sketchnotes I make. The sketchnoting community is amazing and I got lots of recommendations regarding who to follow to improve this and that...which is how I came across Fran Salomon, author of "Mejor Dilo con Monos" and Dean of the prestigious University of Moníchigan. I don't know why I find her so mesmerizing... if it's her charisma and how funny she is or the fact that she is a person who has struggled and found a way to improve. She's an amazing communicator and her messages just go through me and set me in motion. I wish she could convince me to go to the gym and stop eating crap...maybe I'll ask her to motivate me to do that when I finally meet her (I'm on the waitlist for one of her courses). 

This pic is from www.canva.com

I started following her on YouTube, Instagram, etc. I started practicing every day as she suggested. I can't say I'm getting better because I honestly don't see it, but I can say people seem to be liking what I make...and this time, perhaps that's the opinion I should trust...theirs and not mine because mine is pretty mean and judgemental when it comes to my own crafts. Fran Salomon always says that "drawing is a path to personal growth". She says we have to practice every day and enjoy the ride, since it's not the final destination that matters, it's the journey. 

Invisible competitions

All these months have been a different kind of journey for me because for once, I stopped competing with others. You know when you're in a competition to see who achieves more things but the other person doesn't know you're competing with them? Yeah, just like that. Shame on me.

I had been so focused on doing what everyone else is doing (thinking that I was going to become successful that way) that I was completely neglecting what I really wanted to do. I've always wanted to make films (don't ask, that one is a bit on hold atm). I've always wished I could draw and paint. I've always wished I spoke at least 5 languages by the age of 30. I've always wished I could play music...but I thought that all those wishes were not my thing (except for languages, that one I actually did invest my whole life in) since I was so bad at all of them.

Practice 

Fran Salomon talks about it all the time. Vera Gehlen-Baum talked about it too in her masterclass "You have no talent (and neither do I)". There's even a super cliché quote that says "Practice makes perfect", but why have I never really paid attention to it? I've always thought that you had to have some talent prior to practicing until you reached perfection...but what if you develop your talent because you practice so much? 

Tools

This part will sound very frivolous and consumerist (and it is and it makes me feel guilty but I don't know why I'm telling you this). I bought an iPad because I was getting frustrated that real paper doesn't have an undo button and I thought that perhaps digital sketchnotes might be the way for me. I bought a camera to make stop motion films. I just bought a ukulele. 

Butterflies

Last night, my husband and I were in bed and I told him: "I can't wait for it to be tomorrow morning so I can go to the music shop to get a ukulele. I can't wait to start my lessons*. I know you might think I've lost it, with all the hobbies I've discovered since March and all...but these are things I've always wanted to do and I didn't know I deserved to give myself a chance to try. I'm so happy I have the rest of my life to learn and practice. This is crazy because I don't think I've ever felt this way, but I'm giving myself butterflies in my stomach because I'm really happy that I'm alive and finally living."

*I used Roomie Official's two-month free trial Skillshare link and it worked! I also found a discount code to enroll for the whole year with 40% discount!! Send me a message if you want it :) 

Why it's OK to change your mind

I've wanted to write this post for a very long time, but I was still trying to figure out what I wanted to do next and I figured there was no point in writing it yet.

Disclaimers: 1. This one will be kind of personal/philosophical so if you're not interested in that, I'd skip this post if I were you. 2. This is all my perception (as everything else). I speak no truth, I speak my truth. Nothing I say here should be taken as a norm.

So...I wanted to do a lot of stuff this year, for example, create a CoP at work and one in my city. Also, I had accepted the challenge to become a clandestine Scrum Master of my team and I was about to get certified with a free certification that I will link at the bottom of this post. However, I've changed my mind about it all and I will tell you why (I'm telling all of this to myself really). 

I made this picture. Heraclitus made the quote and did all the thinking.

Communities of Practice

I think that a Community of Practice takes a lot of time and effort. Sherlock haha. For quite a while, this might mean that you have to keep pushing yourself to keep going, even if you feel that you're all alone and that you don't see a result...at least until you find other members that are as involved as you are and that will help you work on it. Also, people have to share the same values, right? Anyway, I don't have that kind of time anymore or that kind of resilience I think...when things are down I tend to be down too. Also, it turns out that you can't force things and information on people (lol but very true), so in order for you to make a CoP at work, you need to find like-minded people. People who enjoy learning almost as much as you do (probably in their free time as well). A place that will help you find the time and space to make it possible. I don't know what I was expecting, that things were quick and easy maybe? 

Scrum Master

I've been told a couple of times that I'd be a great SM. I wanted to believe it. Who knows, maybe I would be a good one. However, I've realized that I don't want to be one for the time being. I have lost interest to become one right now. All my energy is currently used to keep my mental health afloat. 

Other priorities

I might be stating the obvious again, but this pandemic has shown me that I'm my top priority. Also, it has shown me that time is finite. Why haven't I thought about it before? No idea, but I hadn't. 

I want to continue improving my sketchnoting skills. I want to improve my drawing skills. I want to dedicate my free time to the things that make me happy and to my hobbies. I want to be able to dedicate my free time to my health and work out. 

So yeah, that's about it. The river has changed and so has the woman. 

*https://www.scrumstudy.com/certification/scrum-fundamentals-certified

* This is my sketchnoting Instagram alter ego https://www.instagram.com/therookiesketchnoter/?hl=en

How to be a successful tester

What is "being a successful tester" to you? Does it mean being rich and famous and that everyone praises you when talking about testing and that one day they make a movie about you or does it mean making a real contribution to the industry, even if you don't have thousands of followers on Twitter?

One of my favorite literature teachers from uni taught us that even though William Shakespeare is the most famous Elizabethan playwright and poet, he wasn't necessarily the best (At least that's what I remember...but maybe I don't remember correctly, it's been a while). Update: Indeed, I remembered incorrectly. He was the best, but that's not the point of this blog entry.

Anyway, I remember a quote that went something like "Jonson wrote for posterity, Shakespeare wrote for prosperity".  

That, dear reader, is exactly my point here...when you want success, do you want to be remembered, even if you weren't the best (but you were awesome and memorable, I'm by no means trashing Will here) and even if you flipped your opinion like an omelette sometimes to please the current ruler so they'd sponsor you (like a patreon.com of 1550) or is success enough if you made a valuable contribution to the industry and you know it has improved people's lives and/or influenced the way they work? Maybe you want both, I'm not judging you, I promise.

I don't know how Twitter churning reflected on Shakespeare's times (perhaps an empty theater?) but in our beloved 2020, people will follow you on Twitter either because they think you're cool and they want to read what you post...or because they want to build an audience. They will follow you, you'll get happy and feel validated (one more reason to remember you don't need validation) so you will return the favor and follow them back, but then (or if) they'll unfollow you because they never cared about you or your content, you were just a number darling (sorry, I'm mean today). Whose praise do you want anyway? The silent praise of some people following you or the praise that is reflected when people quote you or your work?

It's almost lunchtime here so I thought it was the perfect time for some food for thought. 

DISCLAIMERS: 1. I never intended to disrespect the memory of William Shakespeare or discredit him or his work, thas was not the point of this blog post.  2. I received the information that it wasn't Marlowe who wrote for posterity but that it actually was Ben Jonson, so I edited the quote. However, later on, I received the information that it is was actually Milton who wrote for posterity. I understand that for literature's historic justice it's important to know if it was Jonson or Milton who wrote for posterity, but since it wasn't the main point of this post, I will update the sources as they come. In the meantime, the quote "Jonson wrote for posterity, Shakespeare wrote for prosperity" can be found on page 47 of the book "Art Imitates Business - Commercial and Political influences in Elizabethan Threatre" page 47 https://books.google.es/books?id=r7gHKfW5zSEC&pg=PA47&dq=%22shakespeare+wrote+for+prosperity%22&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiB8KW-idLqAhWj2-AKHSXsAZ4Q6AEwAHoECAUQAg#v=onepage&q=%22shakespeare%20wrote%20for%20prosperity%22&f=false

Antzie Origins: How to raise a child that ends up like me (or not)

Have you ever wondered what would you be like if you had been raised by different people? 

Would you be a rocket scientist? Would you be a better/worse person? Would you still be yourself?

I'm the way I am because I'm me (duh), but I think I'm also the way I am because of how my mom raised me. I've been thinking about the things that she's done that ended up shaping me and I've come up with a long list that made me realize I'm just like her in so many ways. She raised me to be this way, even if she wasn't doing it on purpose (I'll ask her and let you know). 

She taught me:

1. That you gotta fight for your rights 

Since I was a child, my mom has always taken part in protests to claim and demand better working conditions. When I was 18, she paid my boyfriend, who was a drummer at a punk rock band, so he'd come to the protest and play his snare drum. 

I don't know how it is in your country, but in my country of origin, a day is deducted from your salary if you join a protest. I remember a couple of years ago my mom made a comment about her salary that month, that she was getting less because of a protest she'd join. I have major respect for that. However, I understand that not everybody has that privilege and that, for some, every penny counts. 

2. To learn from your mistakes 

When I failed my first exam in college I was devastated. I was so used to not giving my best and studying at the last minute and still always getting good grades somehow. However, one day I failed (and I failed many times after that). I was crushed and I had to hold my tears for one hour, which was how long the bus took. 

"Some lessons are more expensive than others", she told me. That's one of my mom's signature lines. She doesn't necessarily mean expensive "money-wise", of course, though sometimes she does. 

3. To sketchnote (without knowing what it was and that it even had a name) 

My mom would help us study sometimes and when she did, she'd make little drawings and help us associate the drawing to the meaning. I can still remember the name of an Inca priest and the drawing that represented him. I saw that drawing at least 25 years ago and it wasn't even me who was learning about it, it was my brother. 

4. To surround yourself with peers and learn constantly

My brother and I practically grew up at the Dental Association of our city. My mom was always taking endodontics courses. My mother raised us alone, and sometimes she didn't have anybody to take care of me so she'd bring me to her endodontics courses with her and they'd made me run back and forth carrying dental instruments from station to station. I was 6 years old when I learned what sodium hypochlorite was (it was the 90s...parents were fierce) and I could barely pronounce it.

5. To get involved in your community 

She was the treasurer of the Endodontics Society of the Dental Association of our city. She was an active member of the Dental Association and she'd organize courses and workshops. 

I remember falling asleep more than once on the brown leather couches of the large waiting room of the Dental Association since their monthly assembly had gone a little off the schedule and it was late at night. I remember hearing my mom's voice, passionately defending her beliefs. 

6. To share knowledge 

My mom has always mentored students who have just graduated from dentistry. She'd also give talks, usually encouraging her colleagues to rebel against the system and improve their working conditions (Argentinian dentists aren't rich haha). 

She used to pay me to do her presentations in PowerPoint. I'm sorry mom, I shouldn't have charged you. 

7. To not be afraid of your creativity 

My mom has always believed that the specialization she chose is a bit unfair. It's such a detailed, complex specialization, but they don't get paid very well, so lots of dentistry students prefer specializing in cosmetic dentistry or orthodontics instead. She was convinced that Endodontics was dying in our city and she refused to let it die, so she asked me to draw a root canal file inside a coffin. SO.WEIRD. 

I remember I did it in Paint. It was pixelated and ugly, but my mom loved it. She printed huge posters with my drawing in them and I remember her colleagues telling her how much the drawing had impacted them and even congratulating me for it. It was ugly but it made a point. 

No wonder I turned out like this.

"Testing is the responsibility of the whole team"

I made this tag with https://fontmeme.com/name-tags/

                                                                                                                 

Hello, my name is Antzie and I'm a bottleneck. I don't want to be one and I know I shouldn't feel like one, but I do. 

For years I've been hearing and reading that "testing is the responsibility of the whole team" and that "testing needs to be done, but that doesn't necessarily mean that it has to be done by the tester of the team", and I completely agree with those statements. I wish I could benefit from those statements 40 hours a week. I've been trying to pitch them to my team, but perhaps I need to improve my sales pitch in the first place because I'm clearly not good at it.

For a couple of months, every single sprint we close, we have bugs and tasks in "Ready to test". I know I shouldn't feel like a lousy tester because of it, but I do. I'm a person who enjoys finishing a sprint with zero things in my to-do list. It gives me peace of mind. It allows me to enjoy my Friday afternoon feeling that I managed to complete something...that I managed to close a chapter on Friday and I get to start a new one on Monday. 

I understand that cultural changes take time. I also understand that testing takes time and that if by the first half of the sprint all the tickets estimated are waiting for me on the "Ready to test" column, then new tickets are grabbed from the "groomed" backlog, and so new tickets will be added to my pile. Do they equal the 20% of buffer time and capacity? I'm not sure, but it overwhelms me.

Perhaps that means I should dedicate less time to each ticket, but if I've estimated x amount of time for each, then why should I reduce it only because I have more stuff to do now? It doesn't feel right to ditch my own estimation only because I want to "finish on time".

Should I just learn to be okay with finishing all sprints with stuff stuck in the "Ready to test" swimlane? It doesn't feel like it's the solution to my problem.

I know what you're thinking, but I'm very vocal and I struggle to shut up about the things that matter to me, so I've brought this up multiple times in our retros. My team knows I'm frustrated and they've suggested leaving their finished tickets in "Code review" so I'm not overwhelmed. However, that looks, smells, tastes and feels like a placebo to me. 

I know what you're thinking and no, I don't want to quit, I happen to love this team, I want to stay and I want them to help me. I think this is a growing opportunity for all of us.

What I want is to do pair testing. I want to do mob testing. I want to do all the things suggested by Explore It! and Agile Testing Condensed. I want to be a Modern Tester. I want my team to understand that this is not only on me and the other tester of the team (we're actually one big mobile team but split in two mini teams). 

Some people might say: "If I do your job, then that means you need to code too then" and whereas I disagree with it, I know I would if I could, if I had the skills to do it...I so would, especially if a team member was drowning and they kept asking for help during every single retro. 

So dear team buddies, if you're reading this, please help me. Please jump on the evolution bandwagon with me because sometimes I feel like I'm the only one seeing this Thestral. 

*Note: I don't know how on Earth I forgot to mention The Modern Testing Principles but I've mended my post. In my defence, I was frustrated with the mobile app of Blogger because I had written a draft there but it was never saved, so I had to re-write this post. Of course I uninstalled the app afterwards.

The retro that made everyone warm and fuzzy inside

As I have mentioned before, although I'm not the scrum master of our team, I have volunteered to facilitate our retros...and I've done it for almost 6 months, but then I felt a bit drained and I asked my teammates for help. I thought I needed a couple of sprints to recharge my creative batteries, but honestly, I feel like I still need some more time. 

Anyway, my dear friend Korcholis (probably my best friend at work, but don't tell him) volunteered to facilitate some retros and they were good. They made everyone in the team sigh and be all "aww I love you all", which was beautiful and felt great, but being the flawed person I am, I felt a bit jealous (and feeling jealous made me feel small). 

Jealous? Why? Well, because I've been trying to get the team to reach that climax for almost 6 months and I felt weird that someone else achieved it. Since Korcholis and I are the kinds of friends who can be honest with each other, I confessed my jealousy to him, and guess what he said? 

"First of all, all processes are long and sometimes they take time. The fact that they said that when I was facilitating it might only because I was "a new person" facilitating the retros, but the whole effect came from before.

Second, if you hadn't brought games and 'emotional things', I wouldn't have brought games and emotional things. To be honest, when I was officially responsible of facilitating the retro, every day before starting work I'd look for metaphors about how to split tasks in "good" and "bad" and that's it, but afterward, once I started looking for games, I realized that splitting positive and negative things of the sprint into two columns was not the most important part...the most important part was to see how we work as a team.

Third, I know you don't like to hear this, but you can't allow someone's words to affect you. [...] Fourth, don't say you feel small, imagine you teach someone how to ride a bike. Will you feel small because that person knows how to ride a bike now? Will you feel small when someone tells them "Wow! Well done! You ride your bike so well!"...of course not. You should feel proud of being such a good teacher."

I must admit that, after those words, I felt a bit emotionally manipulated to feel proud of my work and happy about what had happened... After all, he's really smart and he'd know how to cheer me up, but he made a good case.

We're finally riding the bike together (sometimes).